I know I have not been too personal on this blog yet, but it’s time I get there as that was the whole point of this blog, sharing things I love and letting you get to know me. So that said I have been all over the place the last few weeks and it’s not been a fun experience. Two weeks ago I started having horrible chest pain and I have a high pain tolerance so you know that means I was really hurting. So I went to my doctor a few days later and she sent me to the ER. I was admitted to the hospital overnight and I ended up having a Cardiac Catheterization done. (by the way I am 30 years old) Lets just say that was a bit of a wake up call, though my heart is fine, so that’s wonderful!
What is wrong is that I have an Anxiety disorder and since I worked in sales, yes worked. I had to consider what I wanted to do with this. I did end up quitting after thinking about it for a few days. Something that was very hard to do as I am also a diabetic and need the insurance, at the same time I knew I couldn’t continue to do the job with the chest pain, dizzy spells and shaking I was experiencing.
It wasn’t just work though, I went to get the prescription for my new medication to help my anxiety and my debit card would not work! I started shaking so bad and had to run out of the store (almost) to go get my check book. It was then I realized it’s a good thing I spoke up and asked my doctor about it. Now here is why I had to say something, many people don’t want to hear these things. It’s the “nothing is wrong with me mentally” mentality. Personally I just wanted the pain and dizziness and general life craziness to stop. So if you think you are in this situation, talk to your doctor!
The good news is the chest pain is less, though I haven’t left the house since yesterday, so we will see once I do. I have been spending time with my adorable cat (shown to the left) and relaxing. I do think this is something that has been going on for a long time, now that I think about it. I was a very shy kid, but I was shy because I thought that something horrible would happen to me if I spoke up. I also have a soft voice and still to this day get yelled at to speak up or speak louder and I think that has not helped either. I’m not blaming anyone of course. I’m just trying to figure out how I got to where I am today, so I can fix it.
So this is why I have not been up to par right now, but I’m hoping things will get better soon. I’m concentrating on getting better and trying to get my home party business up and going again. It’s hard as I don’t have many friends and those friends are split between people who want to help, but can’t and people who just don’t care. I’m working on weeding the last group out of my life. I don’t need them!
I will be posting random updates about my anxiety disorder and of course my diabetes. If anyone else has been though this I would love to hear from you!