Girlfriends are like oxygen… yes, it’s true! They cover a part of our psychic world that can not be covered by relationships with other people, such as paternal family, partner or spouse, children, colleagues.
A female friendship offers something so different but you must be aware of those toxic friendships based on gossip, superficial company, and nothing deeper. This may only hinder your life. A paradoxical research fact!
Photo: Unsplash
One of the best things a man can do emotionally for his health is to get married (related to better health, less depression, and longevity) and the best thing a woman can do emotionally for her health is to have girlfriends! There are however, important differences between female and male friendship.
One of the differences between female and male friendships is that women share their feelings, analyze the situations that caused them, and then have the opportunity to process and manage them. Women tend to connect emotionally with each other and offer support systems to each other to manage the stress and difficult experiences they may have in their lives.
Men, on the other hand, focus more on doing something together (either actively, for example, going to football or hunting, or passively, eg watching sports), while their discussions focus on politics, finances, business, but rarely how they feel.
Spending time with our friends helps to create more serotonin, a neurotransmitter in the brain that is responsible for good mood and boosting self-confidence, while fighting depression.
Related Post: Strength In Numbers: Building-Up Your Circle Of Friends
What does female friendship offer?
According to a groundbreaking study by UCLA USA, female friendships offer to:
- Shape a woman’s emotional state and personality.
- They calm her upset inner world.
- They fill the emotional gaps that exist in marriage.
- They remind her of her true inner identity.
- They reduce stress and help the body to relax and calm down.
- They can make them feel easier to talk about uncomfortable subjects.
Female response to stress is different from male. All people, men and women, when stressed react biologically with the “fight or flight reaction”. That is, they either react in some way to what is stressing them or they try to escape from the bad situation.
However, in addition to this normal reaction to stress, women have another dimension to their behavior. They show affection and exhibit caring behaviors and this is another dimension to the well-known stress response model. When women are stressed, they tend to take care of themselves and their children while developing bonds of support with other people, such as opening up to their girlfriends and seeking their support.
With this attitude of affection, care and intimacy, oxytocin, the hormone of love and emotional connection, is released, offering peace and quiet. Men, on the other hand, do not have this tendency, and when they are stressed they enter into a normal fight or flight reaction.
Handling female issues
Women can also find a healthy relationship with a woman in terms of her physical health too. If they have any type of health issue, they may discuss with their friend. Perhaps they have a delicate issue, one friend may be quick to help provide an answer and not judge. It may be something like advising them on using canesten duo for a delicate female issue.
Long-term research on nurses from Harvard Medical School has shown that women who have girlfriends generally have better lives.
- They have less physical pain as they get older and less chance of developing chronic illness.
- They have a better quality of life and better mental health.
- They are happier and generally handle things better.
- They have weight within normal limits and are not overweight.
- They are not smokers and avoid unhealthy habits.
- And when faced with a very serious stressor such as the death of a spouse, they had much better management and lower rates of depression.
- Find it easier to relax.
Photo: Unsplash
So how do you know that you actually have a good friendship? You will just know if it is right and if not then perhaps it is time to reevaluate the friendships. Here are some things to note:
A good friend will never hurt you
The truth is that anyone can hurt you. Why not your boyfriend or girlfriend? Mistakes and painful feelings are inevitable in a relationship. And an important relationship is likely to disappoint you at some point. Of course, it matters how your friend will disappoint or hurt you, how often this can happen, but also what the quality of the relationship is.
However, it is good to remember that good friends are there to protect you from negative emotions. Sometimes they need to tell you some home truths and upset you to help you, especially if they are worried about you. If they do it often for no reason, it could be a bad sign.
If all that a friend has to offer you is criticisms, then you should definitely consider moving away and looking for more supportive friends because they should never approach worrying about you with criticism.
You have no friends, so you are doing something wrong
The truth is that like everyone else, you too will have gone through phases of loneliness, and maybe your friends have too. There may have been moments when your close friends were absent or during Covid you may not have talked to them much and felt that you have started to pull away from each other.
Instead of being a strict judge of yourself, the best thing to do is to investigate the causes that led you to lose friends. Were there problems? A new love affair? Did you have a baby? Did you have problems at home? Did you have a bad psychological state? Identify the cause so that you can make the necessary changes to get closer to the friends you feel you have lost.
At the same time, ask yourself which friends were by your side during the demanding times of your life. In both cases, you should know which way to move. If you’re looking for new friends that meet your expectations or looking to make new friends, be sure you invest more in existing relationships and put the effort in.
Are you in your 30’s with few or no friends? Check out my post: Why it’s Hard to Make and Keep Friends in your 30’s
True friendship lasts forever and time is no object.
The truth is that not all friendships last forever but some can. As time goes on, both you and your friends change and have different interests and personality changes can affect the friendship. They change your life and the ones you want to talk to or give advice to may no longer want or need you and that is a blow for anyone.
So, over time, there will be friends you will leave behind, friends who will choose to leave you, friends you will no longer fit in with. However, there will be those who will continue to be your companions and will stay by your side, both good and bad. Those that you will continue to laugh with and endless laughter for no specific reason. Time should not affect this at all.
Lastly, is it possible to also have a friendship with a man? There is no friendship between a man and a woman, they say because there is always another motive. This is not always the case.
There can be friendship between the two sexes. There are many pieces that can connect them on a friendship level, especially when the boundaries are clear. Perhaps you have grown up with them and see them as a brother.
Perhaps they are your family friends and you have formed a healthy bond. Overall, however, it’s so important to keep your female friends close and remember how they can aid you.
This content was origonally published on HollybeeTells.com