Disclosure: The following contains affiliate links. If you click on my link and make a purchase I receive a commission.
Are you like me? A woman who knows she is worth more but is so confused by life and what others are saying that she has no idea what to do about it. This year I made a resolution to fix myself. Well, not really fix, but make myself a better person. I knew in order to do this I had to be open-minded and start improving my mindset. Over the last three months, I have read a handful of self-help books. It all started with the book Secrets of Six-Figure Women and went from there.
Though many of the books helped me move forward, there has not been a book since Six-Figure Women (read my review of Secrets of Six-Figure Women) that has prompted me to do a review here on Hollybee Tells. Until this last book, F*uck Him, by Brian Nox, (yes a man) I just finished reading it today (April 7, 2019) Take a moment to look at the publishing date for this post. Yes, I was that impressed with this book.
Why Nice Girls Finish Last
My whole life I have been the nice girl who just wanted to please everyone and make people happy. I also loved helping people, my problem has been knowing the difference between helping people, making people happy and being taken advantage of.
Honestly, my whole life I have let so many people walk all over me. It’s only been recent that I have started to step up. As many of you who follow this blog know I have never been in a committed relationship. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I kept attracting men who didn’t want them. (or so I thought)
F*ck Him Changed everything
I am 36 years old and as I said I have never been in a committed relationship. I always thought it was me, not them. My friends would tell me otherwise, but after so many men it had to be me. For years though I just stopped trying and unhappily gave into my fate.
Though I made an effort in the last couple of years to improve myself it wasn’t until I read the book and read a section that pinpointed me exactly. Are you the girl that dates guys who don’t want relationships, but after moving on to the next girl they end up getting married? (not word for word from the book) After I read that I literally threw my hand in the air and said “Me! Me”. Then I stopped reading and sat for a moment frozen, That was when the truth started to sink in.
I was the problem!
Yep, I said it. The problem was not all those men, (okay maybe a couple were the problem) It was me! I forgot how strong I was, I let my need to make everyone happy overshadow my own happiness. I made myself too available and didn’t have my own goals and dreams. When I did I pushed them to the side because that’s what we women are supposed to do right?
I want to say, I will be reading this book again after I finished another book by Brian Nox, Called She Comes First. I’m starting it as soon as I’m done writing this post and make dinner. The reason I will be re-reading it is that I know I missed so much in the first read and he really has some great tips and ideas in this book. The first take-a-way I received from reading is that I need to stop trying to overly impress the guy I’m with or interested in. Next, I need to start believing in myself again (one reason I picked up his other book. Lastly, I need to make the guy work for me.
Yes I’m that girl
Here is the thing, no one wants to admit to being that girl, but after reading F*uck Him, I have realized those of us who are that needy girl (but really aren’t) need to admit what we are doing because the only way to change is to admit something needs to change. I was tired of being the nice girl, I was really tired of being the nice girl that always finishes last.
Now I can start the process, with the help of this book. The first time I read a book like this. I let myself just read it. I do this because if I can’t finish the book then I know it’s not the self-help book for me. In just the last 3 months I have not finished 3 books, one being a New York Times bestseller and many women would hate me if I told them who wrote it. This book I felt was aimed more at mothers than a single woman with no kids and I just could not relate.
I digress. The second time I read a book is when I start taking notes and really dissecting the book for my own needs. This book I know will really help me and I’m very excited to start the second read. Not only do I believe it will help me become a better person, but also make the changes I need to make to have a lasting real relationship with someone.
If you want to read F*ck Him! You can get it for free on Amazon with Kindle Unlimited.
I hope you will wish me luck. If you would like to join me on my journey to being a better person and one day motivating others to do the same check out my YouTube Channel.