I have been going though some major life issues lately and this has caused me to take a good long hard look at myself and why I am the way I am. Truth is I have to make some changes, I have to let negative people go and I have to start believing in myself again.
Today on my Facebook feed I saw this amazing post and just had to click it, the headline: A Message to Women From a Man: You Are Not “Crazy” (opens in new window) Now this is just a short post and there is a book that is soon to come out, something I will be buying! What hit me the most about this post is that it is describing exactly what I have been though, the gaslighting concept is not new. I have actually heard this term before and it’s very true for most women. It’s also not just men that have this problem, but women talk to women in a way that makes them think they are crazy too.
In fact a few of my “friends” do this to me a lot. Both men and women, I also have the lucky past where every man I have ever been involved with has done this to me also. They have made me think that I was the crazy one, that their actions and behavior were fine and that what they did was okay, it was normal. Really it’s not. Because of this emotional manipulation as the post author puts it I thought I was crazy, well until they left me for someone else because they were lying to me the whole time, but that’s another post.
The point is we as women need to realize when this is happening to us and say something about it. Men have been trained to act this way, because they are cowards and little boys and just can’t admit they are at fault. I have come to accept this and now am on a mission to change it. Not just for my benefit but for everyone. We need to enact change in order to become a better society as a whole.
Your Opinion: What do you think of the post, do you agree with the author or disagree?
Sorry that you are going through some tough times lately but with pain, good change usually follows.
I have never been accused of being too emotional or wearing my emotions on my sleeve so to speak but I have seen others in action making those accusations.
Having two sons who are both now adults, I do disagree with you that “Men have been trained to act this way, because they are cowards and little boys and just can’t admit they are at fault.”
Not all men. There are plenty of decent men out there. Keep looking.
Good luck to you on your new journey to make a change.
Thank you for sharing your opinion!
I do want to say I did not mean all men, but men in general, though I think the area I live in has I higher percent that treat women badly, but You are correct and not all men are this way. I think my point with that sentence was that society tries to “train” them that way and that as a whole there is work to be done by both men and women to put a stop to this behavior. Many men I don’t think even realize they do it. For future reference I put the last part of that sentence in to make a point. We women are involved in emotional manipulation too.
I have also been going through some stuff and it is difficult. In my case I have dumped off several people in my life including family because they refuse to take responsibility for their actions. I am working on my life for me because that is what I deserve and so do you! It is time to let go and be happy!
The hardest part I think is letting go of people you care about. Even though you know it is better it’s still very hard. I wish you success and hope you are able to work though everything and find happiness also.
My first husband acted like I was the crazy one, but my second never does that to me. Maybe you are picking the wrong kind of guy…. I have been there done that.
I also have been going through alot in my life including having “marriage” difficulties, family problems as well as stressing over unpaid bills. I’ve been told I’m the crazy one since I was small (the joy of step-parents) and it seems to follow into adult hood. I’m working on my struggles and I’m sorry to hear that you too are struggling. Atleast we have each other to help talk things out. I don’t feel so alone anymore.
I have also been told I’m crazy since I was little, so I do understand where that is coming from. I’m happy to be here to help you if you need to talk.
I’m sure it’s more of the area I live in, small town where most women do not have an education past high school (if that) so everyone just assumes women know nothing. I on the other hand am working on a masters degree so it’s hard to be talked down to like that. I do agree some men act like we are crazy and others don’t. I just have to keep looking for the right one.
I’ve had it happen to me in the past – I truly thought I was crazy, sometimes I still do thankfully now though the people around me put me on the right path and tell me off.. It’s scary how deeply ingrained they managed to get into me.
I hope things get better for you soon and if you ever need to talk I’m only an email away 🙂 xx
Thank you for being there. I’ll be honest I don’t have much support around me, but I’m still trying to change how I look at things. It’s just nice to know I’m not alone.