Learning to cohabit in a relationship can be a deal-breaker. When you find someone that understands you it can change your life in so many ways. And if you waited for the perfect person and the reality soon arises that no relationship is perfect you could very well begin to retreat into yourself.
But we have to remember the most important lesson of any relationship: it is not 100% perfect. We have to work on these things. When a relationship is going south or there are speed bumps we’ve got to take it upon ourselves to fix this broken relationship. But what can we do to understand that a relationship is fixable?
External Support Is Always An Option
One of the big problems we have in the age of social media is that we can compare ourselves to other couples. They may have that seemingly perfect existence but we don’t. And when we start to drill down into any problem we can realize that everybody else has the same issues.
When we are trying to mend things with our partner it’s a good idea to have external support networks that are ready to listen to our thoughts and feelings. Sometimes the truth can hurt; this means that we may very well have to do a lot of soul-searching.
Sometimes the problem is obvious to everyone else apart from ourselves. When it’s something like an addiction, although there are numerous couples drug rehab facilities, we have to remember that professional help is what will give us the tools to get over the speed bumps. Never underestimate the power of outside help.
Approach The Difficulties As A Team
When there is a problem in your union it’s so easy to blame others. Blaming will always absolve yourself of any responsibility. But couples that work together can stay together.
If you are someone who feels annoyed that the other person did something without your express permission you are always going to be two separate entities.
It’s crucial that you both focus on the big picture. Once you start to realize that you are a unit you will keep perspective even if you don’t like what the other person did. It’s about having that respect for each other despite their actions at the time.
Do You Both Want To Solve The Problem?
As everybody knows, a relationship is hard work. And it’s not about laying blame on the other person to fix the problems, even if you think they are the root cause. If you both want to make the relationship work you both have to put in the effort.
If you’ve been trying to address an issue in your partner and they deny any responsibility or don’t invest any energy into working through the problems it may be time to cut your losses. You have to remember that if there are considerable issues in a relationship if you both want to work through it you will make it work.
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You Both Assume Responsibility
While it depends on the circumstances, for example, if your partner cheats on you, when you both assume responsibility for the relationship going south means that you can provide a foundation to rebuild trust. Sometimes this can’t happen until both sides acknowledge their role in the downfall of the relationship.
Taking responsibility is crucial for you both to build a stronger future. When someone cheats on us, as easy as it is to completely blame the other party, we’ve got to turn the mirror on to ourselves. When both sides are unwilling to admit they are at fault the problems can repeat themselves.
Do You Still Love Each Other?
If you still have those feelings for each other this is the perfect foundation to fix everything. Because if you have come to the conclusion that you don’t love each other anymore and you are trying to fix the problems for another reason, such as children, is this really going to help the situation?
When you bring children into the picture and you are trying to bandage a wound that keeps opening, it won’t be long until problems come to the surface all over again. If you both love each other and you are attuned to each other this will make everything easier to resolve.
In any relationship, most issues can be fixed. It’s only when abuse is brought into the picture that this should never be tolerated. But if you are working to fix a relationship the above factors can provide a substantial starting point.